Administrative Professionals Conference – Opening & Discovering Your Emotional Intelligence

*** Please NOTE that these are my notes LIVE from the conference – please excuse typos, etc. and this is my personal opinion and notes

Colleges represented: Coppin State University, Goucher College, JHU, Loyola University Maryland, McDaniel College, MICA, Salisbury University, St. Mary’s College of MD, Towson University, University of Baltimore, University of MD Baltimore County, and Stevenson University – 152 people – International organization: Administrative Professionals (60th Anniversary) – Theme for this year: Admins: The Heart of the Office 

• Emotional Intelligence – Today’s Session

• Developing myself
• learning from others – networking and sharing
• planning for development – aha moments
• resources after today

Learning is the most important competency you can have – YOUR Advantage!

• Learning can happen anywhere / at any age 
• Learning is empowering and inspiring
• contributes to personal and professional success

Wrote a book With her Husband – quite an experience

What did I learn today? (aha)

What do I want to practice moving forward? (aha)

Practical strategies – personal & professional life

What is EI? – Effectively managing feelings and emotions so they are expressed appropriately (Daniel Goleman) – mid-90’s was on the cover of TIME magazine and more significant than Cognitive Intelligence – Can actually Measure EI 

• people with an average IQ can out perform people with a High IQ if they have a higher EI – High IQ does not = Star Performance 
• Two: Personal competence / Social Competence

• Personal: 

• Self Awareness – understanding your own emotions / being accurate of what those emotions are / label those 
• Self-Management – effectively use your emotions / positively direct your behavior

Social: 

• Awareness of Others – pick up on others moods & emotions / can read what others are thinking and 
• Relationship Management Manage that person / manage interpersonal interactions effectively

EI is different from intellect

• IQ (no change / stable over lifetime) / EQ / Personality – ALL part of us but distinct (graphic)

EI and Performance (from talentsmart)

• EI accounts for 60% of job performance all positions through CEO – All positions around the world per their research
• 90% of top performers have high EI
• www.talentsmart.com – good reference site

Why is EI Critical?

• improved communication between your emotional brain & rational brain 

• plasticity: ability to grow neural connections.. can physically change our brain by learning new skills

Decision making

communication 

building relationships – business and personal

reputation

career success

leadership effectiveness – leadership is not about the Position / Power

The business case for EI

• Top US Air Force recruiters scored higher in Assertiveness, Empathy, Happiness, and emotional self awareness – $3M annual savings
• multinational consulting firm, top partners, higher in value learning and developing others, $1.2M higher 
• Source: www.eiconsortium.org/reports/business_case_for_ei.html  

What’s My Emotional Intelligence Score?  (handouts) – there is a website on the screen but can’t read it

• self scoring – one page assessment – big pictures 

Good / Bad Role Models video 

• Self-Awareness (good): Oprah video – Is there anyone dead/alive that you wish you had interviews: Jackie Onassis – what is your legacy? Opening the school in 2007 ??? Maya Angelo said “You don’t know what your legacy is. It is the people who watched your show ??? every single life that you touched”

• the starting point for EI
• Personal competence
• Involves reflection
• Journaling – helps you manage your emotions / allows for reflection / makes you aware
• having a mentor – your own learning – finding someone who does EI really well and working with them, getting advice from them
• Understanding and doing an honest assessment of yourself – what pushes your buttons – understanding the connection in what you feel / what you do / what you say – what your capabilities are
• (handout) Recall a recent specific event in which you regret how you acted: describe

• What were you feeling?
• Why did you feel this way?
• How did you respond to those emotions that you experienced?  withdrew from the situation / stayed in the situation & tried to change it / stayed in the situation & pretended you were in agreement / became verbally or physically abusive / tried to out talk the other person / other
• How did your body respond while you were feeling these emotions?  Folded arms / tears / clenched jaw / sweat / other
• What might I do differently when I feel these emotions and recognize my physical signs?

Self-Management (bad): Anderson Cooper (The Ridiculist) – 

• Personal competence
• Managing negative & positive emotions: adaptability / initiative / optimism
• Involves Action 

Table Conversations: Most admired (10 minutes)

• Introductions – where we work and why we are here
• Someone you admire – great interpersonal skills – what behaviors does this person exhibit?  Why are they effective?
• Someone who lacks interpersonal skills: what behaviors does this person exhibit? Are they effective? If not, why are they ineffective?

Awareness of Others 

• Social competence

• concern for self but also a focus on others
• individual and organizational awareness 
• empathy – at Harvard medical school they have added in empathy training to the curriculum ??? traditional training actually reduced empathy??? including things like role playing??? having residents actually “follow” patients 

listening & observing

Difficult people (video) – Relationship Management 

Relationship Management

• Social competence
• cluster of skills

• teamwork
• conflict management
• coalition building
• influence and motivation

Table Conversation: 

How to Cultivate EI

• clarify your purpose
• learn how you learn. under way types of situations you learn best
• identify strengths and weaknesses
• seek feed back from superior, peers, subordinates
• model individuals who demonstrate EI
• work on flexibility

A few strategies: Self-awareness

• find an EI mentor
• identify a feeling without passing judgement on it
• know who and what pushes your buttons
• keep a journal
• visit your values
• know yourself under stress

AFS: Self-Management

• Utilize a mentor
• identify emotions v. reason in your decision-making
• set goals for yourself and make them public
• sleep on it & count to ten???
• laugh more – triggers our brains that we are “happy”
• try to learn from all your interactions

AFS: Awareness of others

• listen authentically
• people watch
• put yourself in someone else’s shoes
• body language
• practice timing
• test for accuracy – when you think perceive something.. are you actually accurate with that?

AFS: Relationship M
anagement

• be open to others
• open door attitude
• take freedbakc and give quality
• build trust
• (slide change)

akayes@stevenson.edu